oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
