Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
