just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
