Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
