absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
MIDGETS
????
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
