I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
