Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i love accidental penises.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
