Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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