I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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