You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
