This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
