I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
