I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
