even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
