now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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