She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
