i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
