Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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