how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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