in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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