Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
