Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
