I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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