i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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