you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
