we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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