One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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