found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
