I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
