Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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