these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
