True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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