Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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