Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
