I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
