I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
