All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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