That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
