He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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