I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
