Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
