yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
