We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
