I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
