My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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