She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
