I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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