I don't think brook has ever known best
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize