# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
