We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
