Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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