its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
