If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
