I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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