it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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