just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
